Note: This entry is fairly long-winded. Anything slanty (because I don’t like the word italics) is a thought.
I am so glad that this week is over. After my four hour yelling match with the financial aid department at my school and with the HR people at my job and the bitch on my floor trying to create shit with every move that she makes, I am ready for Martini Night.
For my promotion/certification at work, I am enrolled in a program that is sponsored by my school. This is helpful and I was excited because I will finally be certified in something and my job will pay for me to do so! Then yesterday, my student loan was SUPPOSED to be direct deposited into my account…It wasn’t. So, I called the Financial Aid office…(I am sure that they love me because every semester, there is something wrong with my shit and I have to call them and argue. I think that they screw me JUST so that I will call and then flashing lights go on and confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling. “It’s her! It’s Crystal!” They scream with glee, and then they sing “For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good…..” but I digress…)
Anyway, the financial aid office never knows anything, so they always transfer me to the Business Office, where the people always take slightly longer to tell you that they don’t know anything. So, after about twenty minutes of dead silence on the line, (Can you even believe that they don’t have elevator music?? I will screen the next school I go to for elevator music! Any school cheap and inconsiderate enough NOT to have it is NO GOOD in my book…) Then, the girl on the line came back on and said, “I don’t know what is going on here, looks like you are enrolled in some classes that you owed money for, so they just took it out of your loan.”
“Oh, it looks that way, does it?”
She then suggested that I call HR at my job because it looked like they charged me for my workforce cert. “Oh no you not!” So, I call HR. Then I called Training and Education, then I called Tuition Reimbursement. No one answered anywhere, I left several very agitated, very frantic messages on several different voicemails and then…I took matters into my own hands and called some big-wigs at school. No one knew how to fix the problem. So, after faxing a copy of an agreement signed by me and reps from my company, and calling everyone imaginable that might know what to do, and freaking out for hours and hours…I get a call from Helen. Helen is apparently brain dead. She says that the letter, printed on company letterhead, signed by me, signed by my rep, dated, specific, and perfect is not valid because it is addressed to me. Pardon me…but why would it NOT be addressed to me?! It was TO me! She says that she needs “authorization” from my company to use their money to pay for my courses. To this, I responded…Ahem…, “Well, that is weird! Because I don’t recall anyone getting a letter from ME saying that I would pay for this shit! So why don’t you fax ME a copy of a letter that I signed saying that you could take 1150 dollars out of MY financial aid disbursement?! Huh?” Then I hung up.
I had a fun day. That is only the half of it. But I won’t get into it, because then I will have to go outside and smoke 12 cigarettes. It still isn’t over. I was told that the money would be in the account BY this morning…it is one. No money yet. Bastards. I will call someone. I will call someone important and literate. I will call The President of the United States…Oh, wait…that won’t work…I said literate. Damn.
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