On Sucking it Up

So, tomorrow is Rackamonie's birthday. Last year on his birthday, Spliff, Tony, Rack and I were on our way to good old New Orleans. We had a really good time, but I knew that my friendship with Spliffany was over months before that. This year, things are much different. I don't like Spliffany. I have realized that and I am okay with it and everyone is a better person for it. But then there's Rack. Who wants nothing more to spend his birthday with his two best friends and not have to worry that one of them (me) will stab the other one (her) in the neck with a fork. (I will not stab anyone in the neck with a fork unless they attack me first with a set of chopsticks or something. I swear.) I agreed to meet them for lunch, in a moment of weakness when Spliffany wasn't annoying the bejesus out of me. And then I immediately regretted ever doing so.


Yes. I do want to give my dear friend Rack whatever he wants for his birthday. And this is something that he wants because he has missed being able to hang out with both of us at the same time. And yes, I think I can handle a couple of hours and a meal with her (without any fork stabbing). But do I want to? Hecky naw. I want to tell Rack that I will take him on a hot air balloon ride or buy him a pony if he doesn't make me do it, but...then a part of me says, "Come on! Suck it up. How bad can it be? After all, you lived under the same roof for seven years!" And then the other part of me says, "But she is a horrible person and you can't stand the sound of her voice!" I don't know which part of me is going to win, but the internal battle is ugly.

I just need to think about Rack. And how good of a friend he has been. And how he deserves whatever he wants. And how I am a bigger person than this. And that I can look past everything for a few hours.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.