4.07.2005

Algebra and Addiction

I am currently enrolled in College Algebra for the second time. It is an online class and I was doing fairly well until a couple of weeks ago. I fell behind, due to the packing and moving and being distracted. But it was nothing that couldn’t be fixed, after all, I am not as bad at math as I say I am, I just don’t have the patience for it. Any student knows how that it. Everyone has that one thing that they just can’t make themselves like. Math is mine. So, my professor originally had our midterm scheduled for the week of Spring Break, which I wasn’t complaining about since it was just a test, it couldn’t possibly take that long. Right? Well, three weeks ago, right after Casper and I had made arrangements to move last weekend, the professor moves the test. To the weekend of the big move.

Since, for this class, you are only required to actually set foot on campus twice, once for the midterm and once for the final, and since my work schedule is never too stable, I signed up to come on Saturdays for these tests. Which, on any normal Saturday, would have been fine…but it just so happened that, just like everything else in my world, it couldn’t work. I emailed the professor. Got no response. Emailed again. Nothing. This went on for weeks. I missed my mid term. The moral of the story is: I have three classes left and I will have to take this damn College Algebra course AGAIN…and pay more for it. Bastards.

I feel like an idiot. Which is stupid. Because the first time I took it, I started out with a good teacher and was doing well…and then she quit…and that is when I learned that Ms. Swan cannot teach College Algebra. Just so you know. And then I got lazy and gave up. Now, I have been working my ass off and unfortunately, my professor seems to be too busy to help me out. Or even write to say, “Hi, I am too busy to help you out”, which, however crappy it would be, would still be better than nothing. I knew I just should have paid someone to take it for me.

I haven’t had gummy bears since I quit them in September. For the last two days, they have been everywhere. They were everywhere I looked at the grocery store yesterday, the chick at the desk behind me is eating them now, they are in my dreams. I need gummy bears. I can’t resist them any longer. I will buy them from the hospital gift shop. I will also buy a Cosmo. Even though Cosmo infuriates me. Sometimes I feel that I don’t feel bad enough about myself already, so I need to look at pictures of beautiful, half-naked models who are the size of my right thigh…

With any luck, they will identify me as a gummy bear junky and intercept me at the door and save me from relapse and Cosmo induced depression/fury.

Stuck-in-my-head Song of the Day: "Sister Golden Hair"- America

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