5.02.2005

I am fundamentally irresponsible. It is a fact. I am irresponsible with money, because buying things, for some reason, makes me feel better about being irresponsible about the relationships that I keep. Or don’t keep.

I live beyond my means and desperately envy people who have not created a financial rut for themselves. (Granted, I had help in creating my own, but will inevitably not have help in fixing it). I suppose that it is a lesson. I suppose I should suck it up and take steps in a direction, which will benefit me in the long run. I need to stop being a coward and take charge of what I don’t like about my life. Financially, and otherwise.

Relationships with me, tend to be long lasting, but over the past several months, I have become a very “no nonsense” individual. Which, I think, is one of the most responsible moves I have made in a long time. I have become somewhat intolerant of people who do not reciprocate. Reciprocal is the only way to be in any relationship. And when I am in one, I give 110% and I won’t settle for anything less than my match. I have just recently expanded this rule to include friendships.

Until now, I have been quite able to overlook the shortcomings of friends, even when I shouldn’t have. I gave infinite support and unfaltering loyalty to those that I considered to be friends. And now, I have decided, this is unnecessary. I don’t mean this in a cold, uncaring way, but I have recently come to the conclusion that there are very few people who deserve this type of unconditional companionship. Hence, the dismissing of Pinhead among others. Their services, no longer needed, have rendered me free to move about the cabin.

Stuck-in-my-head Song of the Day: "Ordinary People" - John Legend

3 comments:

tiffany said...

hey u! i better not be pinhead!

Pookie.... said...

I sure hope that I am not PINHEAD!!!! Who is this pinhead, also read my blog!

Pookie.... said...

Sittin' in a restaurant
She walked by
I seemed to recall
That certain look in your eye
I said, who's that
You said, with a smile
Aah, it's nobody
Aah, nobody

Maybe that explains the last two week
You called me up, dead on your feet
Working late again
I asked who with
You said, nobody
Aah, nobody

Well your nobody called today
She hung up when I asked her name
Well, I wonder
Does she think she's being clever

You say, nobody's after you
The fact is what you say is true
But I can love you like nobody can
Even better

Late last night we went for a drive
You were miles away
I asked, who's on your mind
You said, nobody
Why do you ask
Oh, her again
I could've told you that

We came back home
Got ready for bed
I said to myself
I've got one shot left
Your still mine and I won't stand in line
Behind nobody
Nobody

Well, your nobody called today
She hung up when I asked her name
Well, I wonder does she think she's being clever

You say nobody's after you
The fact is what you say is true
But I can love you like nobody can
Even better