So, obviously, things have been happening. Burglaries, fires, several new apartments, spazzing cats, missing boxes, phone calls, investigators, deposits…I could go on, but I think you all get the idea…
More than anything, I just want to feel like somewhere is home. And it is getting there. (More slowly than I would like.) And if I could leave the apartment without feeling that I would come home it and it would be leveled or aflame, I think I would be a little more at ease. But I guess that feeling will go away in time. It’s kind of funny though, because I really always thought I was paranoid BEFORE all this. Now I am pretty sure I am losing it.
I have a nagging headache which has been a continuous annoyance since the night of the burglary (which now seems like it happened MONTHS ago). I have bills to pay that I had either put off or forgotten about in the hasty move(s) and now am wondering if I will be able to pay at all. I have knots in my back and feelings of impending doom in my head. I have a smoke damaged bridesmaid dress which has not been altered yet because I a) don’t have any money, b) have moved three times in 9 days and c) have to get it cleaned now before I can have it altered, which has to happen before I can attempt to wear the damn thing…all this…and I don’t have the money to PAY FOR IT. So, I have to talk to T, who is already mad at me and tell her that I might not be able to even BE in the wedding, which really sucks. (Although, I can’t see how she could not understand my REASONS.) There are still changes of address to be made. Attorneys to contact. Former landlords to scream at. Boxes to unpack. Rum to drink. That kind of thing.
I am stressed. That’s about the long and the short of it. Stressed but determined to make it through this without being committed. (Keep your fingers crossed for me.)
Even though things are settling down, I still can’t quite settle MYSELF. And there are too many tomatoes in my chili.