I need a better job.
And I don’t mean “better” in the sense that I would have to make more money or that I would have to work for a more prestigious company. I mean “better”.
Better would be not dreading getting up every day. Not constantly day dreaming about working somewhere else and helping people. Not feeling unappreciated and discriminated against. Mostly, better would be to just LIKE MY EFFING JOB…or at least believe that it made any sort of difference.
I used to think that I would be proud to work here. I would go home every night with the satisfaction of knowing that I would have helped people. That my miniscule contribution would make a difference in someone’s life. And I used to think it did.
Now I can say with a fair degree of certainty, that nothing I do makes a damn bit of difference. I leave work feeling unfulfilled and frustrated and I long for something that will satisfy my soul. I want to help people. But not just by giving them what they want, but helping them to see what they need. And finding a way to get it.
I want to feel needed. Appreciated. Fulfilled. Less pissed off. Happier. More like a fucking human being than a robot.
Does this job exist?