A Revolt and the Love of Beer

Spliff has been doing the South Beach Diet for fear of not fitting beautifully into a bridesmaid's dress and I have suffered the consequences. I thought that if I didn't buy or eat anything in her presence that would be anti-South Beach, she would be less tempted...but this meant giving up beer, wine and bread. What?! I gave up bread, no problem for three weeks and I managed to keep my beer and wine consumption to weekends when she wasn't paying attention...and then I snapped and ordered a pizza. And then my stomach revolted. And then I woke up this morning wishing I were dead. Awesome.

I just thought the blogosphere should be advised not to do this. And also that without bread, wine or beer, I feel like a million bucks. (I swear I have Celiac Disease. Damn you, Fish Head.) Those are my three favorite things (aside from cheese) and I am...more than a little bitter. Anyway...I hate/love the South Beach Diet. I feel awesome but I miss beer. I MISS BEER.

In other news, because there is NONE of it...B is coming into town on Thursday (and I will be drinking massive amounts of Stella, dammit) and we will be hitting the bars for some celebratory reunion drinks...because, you know, we haven't seen each other in three months! The only problem is that he is threatening to be here at 7 in the morning! UNGODLY. What the hell? Who does that to someone they allegedly LOVE? B. B does.

Anyway, I don't know that I will get around to blogging until the ridiculous weekend is done...but I will say this, internet: "HGOIJKFEJFLEO".

That is all.

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