Yesterday, I got a text message from Pinhead saying that his wife is pregnant. Now, I know, I haven't really explained this whole Pinhead-Got-Married thing...But that is because a) the whole dating to getting married process took approximately 17 minutes, b) it still doesn't seem like it actually happened because I haven't seen him since he got hitched and c) I am a terrible blogger. So yeah, Pinhead is gonna be a daddy again. This is not the first time, but this time he actually told me before the kid was two. So, I am excited for him. This time, I hope the "baby mama" isn't a lunatic. Only time will tell.
Tory is also pregnant with baby number two. This still creeps me out because I had always thought she and I would be the last to start popping out kids (ME, of course, being the last, because I can't stand them) but there she is, the first out of me, Spliff and Aly.
This isn't the end of it though, Ricky Retardo has moved in with a girl. Yes, the same Ricky Retardo who had a crush on me and every single one of my friends and who has never, in the million years that I have known him, had a girlfriend for more than a month.
Is it just me or are my friends getting weird? I mean, I am living with my heterosexual life partner and our two cats and dating a kindergartener and my friends are getting married and having kids and stuff. Gross, you guys. Effing stop it, you're harshing my mellow. (Yeah, I totally just went all Encino Man on your asses. What?)
At least I get text messages that say, "I am going to do terrible things to you" rather than ones that say, "Can you pick up diapers on the way home?" Jealous? I thought so.