The State I'm In...

Well, internet, lots of things have changed since we last spoke!

I know, I know. You are all wondering if I have gone and killed Spliffany. And the answer, my friends, is no. I have not murdered my former best friend. Actually, things are going...smoothly. I wouldn't say that we are really "friends" at the moment, but we are cordial. And we are pretty nice to each other (despite the occasional urge I have to rip her throat out with my bare hands. An urge which is diminishing; slowly but surely).  She tells me about things and I listen. I do the "smile and nod" when I don't care what she is saying but I try not to be rude. Sometimes we still have our giggling fits at work when something ridiculous occurs and we forget that we don't really like each other. And we chat. Which is much more than I can say for a few short months ago (after the temper tantrum she threw about an upcoming vacation I wanted to take) when she wouldn't speak to me at all. (You must remember that, internet. It was that time when I thought someone had replaced her with a whiney 12-year-old.) The one thing that is interesting about this "relationship" we have right now is that, while she insists on telling me details about her love life and funny things that happen over the weekend, she never inquires about anything that might be going on with me.  This is totally not a bad thing for these reasons:

1. I don't ask her anything about her life either. Because I really couldn't care less at this point. And that is not meant to sound harsh or bitter, just truthful.

2. I actually really don't want her to ask.

    a) I haven't really ever had a personal life that she wasn't super-involved in. She has known all of my friends, my boyfriends, my family members, since we were only kids. And when you live with someone for as long as we did, nothing is sacred. Up to this point, she knew everything about me. It feels pretty good to have a little effing privacy for once.

    b) I've recently started dating someone. This "someone" has been in my life a long time. He has never been someone I could see myself dating...but at one time, he dated Spliff.  

Okay, now I know what you're thinking, internet. You're thinking I am a scandalous, horrible meanie with no soul. Well, you are wrong. It isn't like I set out to find "someone" who would keep me busy while simultaneously sort of throwing stuff in Spliff's face.  Really. I honestly never even thought of it.  But I can see how it might be percieved that way. I'm no dummy.

The thing is, he's really amazing. And this isn't news to me. When he and Spliff were "dating" (this is in quotes because he won't admit that this is what actually happened), she treated him much like a lap dog. She took advantage of his kindness and his generosity and she was shameless and awful. I spoke with her about it before, during, and after the "relationship" and nothing seemed to matter besides how convenient he was for her. I am not going to go into detail here about the way she treats people, because I think you get the idea, but I will say that...well...it ain't good.

So, fast-forward about four years and here we are. And I am really happy. I can't remember the last time that I laughed so often or so hard and I'm not afraid of it. I'm honestly not. We haven't had the ideal start to a relationship (for reasons I won't get into), but we have made it work. And now that it is working, I can't imagine anything better.

So, it might be evident from this post that things are going pretty well over here. I am happy, healthy and free of Bedouin Soundclash. (Still a very, very big part of my happiness, mind you.)

In your FACE, universe.

1 comment:

Hespyhesp said...

And I'm back in your life. What more could you want? ha!

No really, glad you're happy!