I recently got a “friend request” on MySpace from some guy who lives in the same area as me. He is evidently obsessed with himself. I looked at his profile and the guy has more pictures of his house and his boat than he does of himself. I was surprised that he didn’t have a copy of his bank statement in there. I should totally become friends with him and make him buy me lots of things and then stop talking to him. He would go for it. He obviously feels no self worth if it isn’t for his checkbook. No wonder he is on myspace recruiting friends…

I love Sarah. I really do. She just saved me from an evening of decaffeinated boredom. Now the boredom will live on, but the caffeine…it has arrived.

This is going to be a long post, being that I have so much time this evening, and also being that there has been a lot going on that I have not posted about.

L lost her great grandmother last week. She is not dealing well with it. When I spoke to her last Tuesday, she hadn’t slept in a week and hospice had been called in. She had taken Nana home from the hospital and had taken on the primary caregiver role due to the fact that her biological father (“Sperm Donor”) and Nana’s own daughter had let her illness get this bad and neglected to take care of her for so long. She died Wednesday morning. I was awakened by an early morning text message from L saying only “she’s gone”. I feel bad for not having been around as much as I should have been for her. It just hits a little close to home with me. I have experienced so much loss in these last years that I find it hard to console someone who is dealing with it themselves. I hope that doesn’t make me a terrible person.

My Little Brown Girl is having a tough time lately too. She is going through something that we all go through at some point, but every situation is infinitely different and hers is complicated beyond my comprehension. The emotional part is the easy part. The circumstances involved are something that I have never had to deal with. So, I fear that I cannot really help her either.

I hate feeling helpless when I see people I love hurting. I hate that there is nothing that I can do. I hate that, even when I try my best, they still feel empty, lost, unloved, scared, broken…I know I can’t fill every void, but I would like to think that I could put a patch on it temporarily.