I am really cranky today. And not just the kind of cranky that comes with a sleepless night. This is the kind of cranky that comes with a busy day, cramps, and not nearly enough nicotine to get you through the day. This is the kind of cranky that I should warn you about. Steer clear. Seriously.
On top of everything else, I just went to the cafeteria to get lunch, I wanted to try and get something that a) did not repulse me and b) would be good for me. So I decide on a salad. I get it back to my desk (to which I might as well be chained) and realized that it is a BEEF AND SWISS SALAD…
The contents of this salad include:
Beef (I rarely eat beef and today it was one of the things which caused repulsion)
Swiss Cheese (Possibly the ONLY cheese, besides that of the BLUE variety, that makes me want to vomit.)
Mushrooms (Not a big fan but managed to eat about three slices before having to rinse my mouth out with diet coke)
Cherry tomatoes (Tomatoes are the spawn of the devil himself)
Onions (Why anyone would want to eat something that smells like BO is beyond me)
A hard boiled egg (finally, something edible)
Now the cafeteria is closed and I am staring at this evil salad and willing it to turn into something delicious. Like blackened salmon. Or strawberries and cottage cheese. Or a white pizza. Stupid salad.
3 comments:
Look...I never said I was smart, and I can assure you, when you take as much medication as I have today (you can imagine what cramps feel like...I am sure you have seen Alien), you aren't really concerned about a salad either until you realize that it was put there to make your day worse...BY SATAN.
Never...ever...underestimate the power of a salad.
I knew you'd come around...I really did...
By the way...that "beach" video was hilarious (and involved no beef)
Post a Comment