Resolving to Resolve

Typically, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. Not because I am against resolutions, but because I am against the idea of not being able to resolve anything on any of the other 364 days of the year.

I have been thinking about it though, and since I have not been resolving anything at all, I have resolved to resolve.

There. I said it.

So, incase resolving to resolve doesn’t cover the resolutions for the year, I will resolve some other things too.

1. Now obviously, the biggie is to quit smoking. But, in thinking about this and the fact that I have almost no willpower at all, I have decided to resolve to smoke more. It seems the only way to go. And then, if I break the resolution and accidentally quit smoking, I won’t be upset at myself for being so horrible with resolutions. Problem solved.

2. Secondly, I think it is important to manage my money better. Fortunately for me, I rarely spend any money on anything I want and very seldom have any left over, so there is really nothing to manage. Again, problem solved.

3. This brings me to my third and final resolution, which is to learn to successfully rob banks to have money to manage. Notice I said ‘successfully’. I plan to sit myself down for the first couple of months of 2006 and study great bank robbery movies like “Point Break” because really, if I intend to be good at this, I have to learn from the best, and who better than Patrick Swayze? (Who, by the way, I have been informed is releasing a rap album. Can anyone confirm this? I think Ricky got the wrong mushrooms on his pizza when he told me this.)

That about sums it up. I am really ambitious. Its one of my strong suits.


muckypuffin said...


if you're gonna do it - do it properly!

wmjwatson said...

You SHOULD quit smoking. It's bad for your pet.

muckypuffin said...

Yo spaceface!!! happy fucking new year!! I stumbled upon your blog doing that whole random next blog thing on blogger and fuck me how lucky was i to un earth you and your life which is exposed in a textual way for all to read. i've met lots of amazing people in my life, and while i haven't met you and i possibly never will i know your one of lifes decent people. i don't care where you're from i don't really care what you do i can tell you are a really good fucking human being - and i don't say that lightly, i wouldn't log ion to this shit 15 mins before i go out, all my ,mates are downstairs getting fucked and i'm here (all beit a bit fucked) telling you i fucking like ya and i love the way you write about stuff!! and that shit about wanting to make you some pasta still holds true!!! right and before i leave i want to send you a song but can't work out how to attach it here, so i'm sure you are upto speed on downloading tunes so if i give you the name of the tune will you be able to download from limewire or something - gnarls barkley - crazy. right if you can't download it i'll email it or some shit!!! honestly you that shit in your life!!!! peace and much loving muckypuffin xxxxx

wmjwatson said...

FUCK YEAH!! What he fucking said!