Mrs. Chanandler Bong

Last night I was trying to fall asleep/watching “Friends” (because I haven’t seen all of the episodes each 73 times). And I was thinking about this dumb bitch that I used to work with. She was lazy and bitchy and Southern fucking Baptist, so naturally, I hated her and didn’t place any value on anything she had to say. (Because around here, Southern Baptists might as well be the new Nazis.) So, anyway, I remember this one day at work, when a few of us (probably me and Sandy, being the huge Friends fans) were talking about the previous night’s episode when SBB walks up and kind of…plants herself right in the middle of our conversation.

“Did you see it last night?” I asked her, still laughing…

“No, I stopped watching that show when those two girls smooched.”


I literally wanted to push her down onto the floor and beat her senseless. How stupid and backwoods can you be? You guys remember that episode. You know, the one where Chandler and Joey won Monica and Rachel’s apartment and they spend the whole time trying to get it back when all they had to do was kiss. So they do. And it isn’t like they were full-on sucking face. And even if they were, WHO CARES?

It is THESE bastards who voted for Dubya. How can we stop them from breeding? How?!


themachineghost said...

There was also that episode where Rachel kisses Winona Ryder.

I think all the girl kissing girl shit in sitcoms is stupid...and I have never been a huge friends fan...but yeah that SBB is stupid. Can you imagine living your life like that? Being so...offended all the time?

My racist grandparents wouldn't let me watch the Cosby Show at their house when I was little because they couldn't stand to see Black people kissing. How about THAT?

themachineghost said...

oh also, my gmail IM thing wasnt working this morning but its working now............lovah!

also, remember when I kissed Terri P. at Bennigan's?


Weird. Drunken, drunken, weirdness.

spaceface said...

Oh god...
I wasn't aware that you HAD racist grandparents but I am really glad that I never met them.

And dude! The Cosby Show was THE SHIT! And they were the cutest couple EVER...

And also...How the hell could I forget that?! When we first got there it was all normal underage drinking and "I've never kissed a girl" and whatnot...and by the end of it, she'd had her tongue in the mouth of every female and you were announcing, "I just made out with Teri in the bathroom!!!"

And then I puked in the sink. The end.