Spliffany Plant

Spliff is in love with Robert Plant. Because honestly, people, he was hot back in the day. So, the other night, after a couple of bottles of wine with D, and a couple of vodka tonics, Spliff and I had a conversation. I had been in my room, chatting with B and playing text message tennis with The Drunk Ass who was (obviously) drunk and wanting to go for a walk on the beach...(NO.) When I came into the living room, Spliff had curled up on the couch with a vodka tonic in one hand and a remote in the other and was watching a live Led Zep DVD (thanks, D).

Me: Damn...Trouser snake. HA!

Spliff: I think Robert Plant could be her dad (Bridget, her cat). She has a tail, he has a trouser snake. She has two eyes, he has a trouser snake. She's a cat, he has a trouser snake."

Me: (Hysterically laughing.)

Spliff: He's pretty hot. Even though he's English, blonde and has a trouser snake. I would do him.

Me: (Hysterically laughing.)

Spliff: My cat is licking her crotch in approval.

Me: (This is where I fell down.)

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