Avoiding Vincent D'onofrio

In the days since I bought "Shabuta Jenkins 2.0" (the name of my new iPod), I have spent hours trying to import the 9 million CDs that reside in my apartment on to my iTunes so that I can finally feel at peace. It hasn't been an easy task. There have been bottles of wine and ridiculous amounts of frustration and I have all but decided that it is completely impossible to do this myself. For the sake of my sanity, I have considered paying someone to do it for me.

I have managed to spend over 1000 bucks this week at the Apple store alone and I am starting to feel a little bad about it. (Even though, it looks as though the iPhone will sell for MUCH more than I paid for it...) I was talking to D about this buyer's remorse and I realized that this all could have been prevented if I had just failed to open ONE simple email. It all started like this:

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with JGJ discussing the unbridled sexiness of Vincent D'onofrio and how I have trouble sleeping if Law and Order isn't on because his voice lulls me to sleep. JGJ already knows all of this but I feel the need to discuss Vincent whenever possible. He then asks me if I have checked my email that he had sent the day before. I hadn't but he explained that he had found a blog in which the author spoke of how much she also loved Vincent's voice and could watch Detective Goran all day long. I feel the same way. Naturally, I checked my email promptly and read the post. This led to a little scrolling. When I saw a post about The State Season One being available on iTunes, two things occurred to me: 1) This chick rocks my face off and 2) I have to download it immediately. So, I downloaded it immediately. Once I got it though, I realized that, even though my computer is decent, it really doesn't like it when I download things like entire seasons of television shows...so I couldn't watch it. DRAT!

Anyway, this discovery led me to try and find a way that I would be able to watch The State without killing the lappy. There really wasn't a solution other than buying a video iPod. I wasn't going to do it. I spent a little time each day on the Apple website, admiring the shiny, black exterior of the toy of my dreams but I never actually thought I would buy one. Fast forward about a week.

I am sipping Columbian coffee and having my daily drool on the Apple site, when the phone rings. It is D.

"I have a proposition for you. Feel free to say no, I won't be offended."


Sentences that start like this are usually ones that I dread because they are commonly associated with a favor that I really don't want to do, but will feel bad about saying no to. Ad Rock had decided that he wanted an iPhone and couldn't leave work to stand in line and he had told D that if she stood in line for him, he would buy her one as well.

"Sure. Its not like I have a job or anything. It is coincidental that you should call about this now." I explained how I had been considering buying an iPod and she promptly convinced me that it was a fantastic idea and that I should get into my car right that instant and get my ass to the Apple store. And, because, I have no mind of my own, I totally did.

Obviously, by going with her to the store and waiting, I would not be getting the same deal, but I would be getting a full day with D and the ownership of her old phone (which may not seem like a lot, but a day with D is a pretty good day and I was gonna buy a new phone anyway). Long story short, I agreed and spent the entire day in line at the Apple Store. Once I was there, though, I was convinced that, not only was I going to buy an iPhone and sell it, but I also need a new laptop. It worked out pretty well, all in all, Ad Rock had paid someone to stand in line until we got there so we had time to have lunch and go to Target, where I decided to buy all sorts of accessories for Shabuta Jenkins 2.0 (none of which I would have needed had I not received that email.)

The moral of the story is, if you get an email from JGJ about Vincent D'onofrio, DO NOT open it. You will end up spending assloads of money on things that you don't need and then you will feel like an assface.

Stuck-in-my-head Song of the Day: "The Traffic Jam" - Stephen Marley