Well, the countdown to the new apartment has begun! In exactly 4 days, I will be free! By free I just mean that I will be free of Bedouin Soundclash once and for all! Hooray! I think I have mentioned my hatred of Bedouin Soundclash before, internet, and that of all the bad music to be obsessed with, this is what Spliffany has picked. So, you know, I wake up and it is blaring, I try to go to bed and it is blaring. It is pretty much constant. And it makes me want to stick my head in the oven. Seriously. I have almost done this. Twice.
I spoke with my new landlord today and he has given me the okay to start the moving process "whenever", so I am going to go ahead and get this show on the road as soon as I leave this damned office. (Where I am not completely free of BS either, because it happens to be Spliff's ringtone. Seriously. Kill me now.) I have already gotten boxes loaded into the car just in case and now that it is official, I am ready to get 'er done. (Yes, I just got all redneck on ya'll. I am not positive this has ever happened to me before, but I am sure you can excuse me this one time.)
Spliff is, at the moment, working on getting utilities turned on in her name and is having some trouble getting things situated. For starters, the amount of money she is going to have to pay for deposits is outragous, which isn't easy since she is already paying $250 more in rent each month to stay in "our" old apartment. The fact is, internet, I honestly don't care. It is so weird. For the first time in the seven years we have been living together, I honestly don't know how she is going to do it and it is not my problem. I don't feel at all like putting forth any sort of help or support. THAT really DOES make me feel free. Albeit a little cold.
Spliff is family to me, so it isn't shocking that I have always had her back. And I imagine I always will. I mean, that is just the kind of friend I am. Loyal, to a fault sometimes. More and more over the last several years, I have noticed that Spliff is a pretty ridiculously selfish person. She is short sighted and uncaring about anything that does not directly impact her. She cares about the big stuff, but she disregards people's feelings and she does questionable things to people who don't deserve it. I will say that she cares more about the world and its people than anyone I have ever met, but I think that she lacks the ability to connect with actual people on more than a superficial level. That may sound harsh, but seven years of living with someone will give you some insight.
Do I dislike her? No. Do I want to be out of this situation? Hell yes. We are too different now. She, by her own admission, has been a shitty friend. I agree wholeheartedly, but I am guilty of the same thing. No one wants to feel like all they put out is in vain. I am over it. I have been over it. And some of her actions recently have made me want to...punch her in the face. As I type this, she is asking for a favor and everything in me wants to say no, out of spite, but I am not a spiteful person, nor do I wish to cause her any harm. I just don't want to be involved.
I have avoided writing here about my relationship with Spliff because I didn't really want to broadcast to the interweb that anything was going on. Obviously, for a lot of reasons. But I am letting it all hang out now, internet. I am going to use this blog as it was intended when it was started. (I had the intense urge to type "Fuck the police" here, but realize that there is really no logical reason to say that.)
Don't get it twisted, internet, I value very much my friendship with Spliff, but there comes a time when you just have to be real. I wouldn't trade her for anything, but I'll tell you what, I have to look out for number ONE now. (That means me, evidently.)
That's the state of things as they stand today.
Four days until the begining of the rest of my life! Been a long time coming!