Reasons to be Punchy

, thThis week has been a disaster, internet. It has taken everything I have not to kick people in the teeth, or like, hit them with my car. But I have reasons, internet. Oh yes, I have reasons.
1.The Office Nazi has started the Christmas music extravaganza wherein she blasts crappy choir music or Celine Dion's Christmas Disaster all day. Every day. Until Christmas (or someone straps her to her chair and rolls her down the two flights of stairs in the hallway).  The only Christmas music I like is Bing Crosby. (Or the RENT soundtrack, because it CAN be considered Christmas music because it takes place ON or AROUND Christmas. It counts.)
2. There have been several staff changes in my office over the last couple of weeks. What used to be a well-oiled machine has turned into a wild and crazy clusterfuck. This is due, mostly in part, to the lovely and charming Spliffany. It seems that, when she accepted a new position replacing Han (who is moving back home to Hotlanta), it was discovered that, not only is Spliff incapable of doing her new job, but she doesn't appear to have ever been capable of doing her OLD one. Han has been training the new girl and finding all sorts of ridiculous stuff that hasn't been done and having to put out all the fires. And then, of course, promptly every evening, calling me to bitch about Spliff's ineptitude. Thus, making me punchier.
3. Tuesday. Tuesday could possibly have been the worst work day I have had in, ohhhhh, about my entire adult life. Combined with Spliff's idiocy, the new girl's training (the jury is still out on whether she is a slow-learner, a victim of Spliff's inability to effectively train, or in fact she is an imbicile...perhaps a combo?) Han's frustration with the aforementioned and with the sheer VOLUME of work that passed over my desk, I felt that my head would pop off of my body as a red, firey ball of fury. I made it home. But, then...
4. The Flat Tire. Okay. Yes, I know that it is my responsibility as a car owner to make sure that my tires are not low and are functional and have...you know...rubber on them. But, I drive 4 miles per day. Period. When the tire is low, I fill it up with air and then I go on about my day. Or I don't fill it up with air, have the worst day ever, and then pull into my driveway only to discover that said tire has been demolished. Luckily, Thing Two knows how to take a tire off and replace it with the donut. Which then, of course, would also be flat.  SERIOUSLY luckily that the dude at the Tire Kingdom near my house let me have a used tire and mounted it for TEN BUCKS. Saving me the evergy of a homicidal rampage. Then I drank way too much wine and went to bed.
5. It is effing COLD outside. Fuuuuuuck.
That is all.

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