Slayer Part Two...

I know the suspense has been killing you…

When ZH called, I explained the situation and broke my death stare with Mr. Snake only long enough to retrieve the broom. I carried it back and weighed my options outloud.
1. I could find a way to scoop Mr. Snake into the dustpan and carry him out of the house.
2. I could whack Mr. Snake with the broom until he died.
3. I could throw a heavy book onto Mr. Snake.
4. I could cry about it.

I examined these options very closely, meanwhile never lifting my glare from the eyes of my enemy. Just when I thought that the best thing to do was to try and scoop him up, Mr. Snake opened his mouth and let out a large, goopy mess of blackness onto my bathmat. Option number one was out of the question. This was war.

ZH, seeing as he was very much in favor of option number three, repeated over and over to find a heavy book. I whined about not wanting to have to clean said book after the massacre and decided on option number two.

The first time I hit him, Mr. Snake became visibly agitated. He hissed at me. I was not pleased. (Actually, I am not even sure that I hit him because I had to close my eyes…see no evil, you know…)

The second time I hit him, I couldn’t help but screech as the dustpan hit him. I won’t go into the gory details here, but I will say that, at this point, I resorted to option number four. ZH told me that Budha would forgive me and that I wouldn’t go to hell either and that I should now, end Mr. Snake’s suffering. But I couldn’t bear the “whack” again. I attached the dustpan to the wrong end of the broom, did my damndest to scoop him up and into the toilet, and then I flushed.

I feel terrible, Mr. Snake, please don’t come out of the toilet and bite my ass.