1. There is a lady at work who always mistakenly calls me by my last name. My last name is nowhere close to anything resembling a first name and it really irritates the bejesus out of me. I have started referring to her by her last name as well. Her last name is Little. She is also very short.
2. Currently, on my desk, there is a bottle of water, a large glass of sweet tea, and a half-empty can of diet coke. I think I have commitment issues.
3. I hate email conversations that go like this:
Her: Yeah, be there in a minute.
Because, seriously, if the conversation is over, the conversation is over, please don’t crowd my inbox with a damn smiley. You can smile at me when you get your ass back here and walk out with me to smoke a cigarette. Sheeesh.
4. I thought that I would be resourceful today and take an actual lunch break and get out of the office. I decided to go to my mom’s house because it is close and she works during the week and I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. So, I get there. And she is sitting on the couch watching soap operas. I can’t deny that I was kind of pissed off. How dare she be at HER house when I want to be alone? People are so inconsiderate.
5. Why can the chick at Starbucks not understand the phrase “LIGHT syrup”? Even when I say “light, light, light syrup” or “very, very light syrup” she doesn’t get it. In fact, the only time she has gotten it right is if I say “ONE squirt of vanilla” but really, should I have to tell her that “Light” does NOT mean, “Super duper outta control heavy”?
6. There is a chick in my office who is getting married next week. We all want to choke her because she doesn’t make sentences that don’t involve the words dress, bouquet, tuxedo, or cake. I can’t wait until the wedding is over. Although, with the end of the wedding and honeymoon, will come pictures and long, detailed stories about things I don’t care about. Oh, just kill me now.