The last couple of weeks have been a blur of books and elderly people. I have been working six days a week and trying to maintain a healthy level of sanity and/or sleep while still managing to socialize and remember to wash my mascara off before I fall into a heap on top of my comforter (with the light on) and fall asleep. I have, however, managed to avoid malls and Christmas shopping and that makes me happy. I even got a little teared up the other day when we had a holiday sing along with the residents at the nursing home and some of them were cheerful and joining in to sing "O Holy Night". I know, I might actually be human after all.
Overall, though, it hasn't really felt like the holidays. I haven't had time to stress about Christmas gifts (because no one is getting any this year) so I have remained pretty calm. I am working on Christmas so I won't have to worry about getting up early to rush to my mom's house so that she can make hot chocolate and take pictures of us when we look like we haven't slept in a year. I feel pretty good for now. I am sure that I will feel like a gigantic shithead when I show up on Christmas with no presents, even though everyone already knows not to expect any. But hell, I figure, it is MY birthday too. Why should I have to buy presents for other people on MY birthday!? Huh?! Why?