Digging in the Dirt and the Lack of Biscuits...

Oh, internet, it has been a while since I decided to grace the blogosphere with my presence, but here I am, ready to go!

 

The past few weeks have been really busy for me, which is definitely not a bad thing, but leaves me with very little time for blogging or shaving my legs. If I could figure out a way to do these things simultaneously, I'd be in business.

 

A couple of things:

 

1. I have taken up pseudo-gardening. I don't have a yard, but I have a very narrow, very useless porch on which I have decided to place pots full of dirt and hope that someday, they will contain more than dirt.

 

2. I have started (for the 287th time) the South Beach Diet. Tony and I are competing and thus far, I am kicking his ass.  I can tell that it will only be a matter of time before I start shanking bitches for biscuits. (I am totally starting a band so that I can't name it "Shanking Bitches for Biscuits".)

 

3. Next weekend is Fish Head's bachelorette party.  All I really have to say about this is that I am going and she is peeved because I don't want to spent a night in a hotel room with a bunch of chicks that I don't know. I don't really know why where I sleep is an issue. But evidently, I am unsupportive and not excited about it because I don't want to share a bed with a stranger. Or a lesbian who has been trying to turn my sister for 6 years. But we won't get into that now, internet.

 

4.  Spliff has gotten over her most recent boy disaster and found herself a new one. Which  makes her happier, which makes her easier to tolerate because she isn't walking around scowling constantly.  (The last one made her pretty scary for a while.) It also makes for a whole lot of one-sided conversations wherein I say, "uh-huh" a lot.  But it is better than wanting to punch her in the throat. Much better than that.

 

5.  This "poking" thing on Facebook is getting out of hand. My phone vibrates 20 times a day because someone has "poked" me. What is the purpose of this? There are so many other ways to communicate on Facebook. Like...I dunno...sending a message? This "poking" thing tells me that you have nothing to say to me. But that you want me to remember that you exist in the world. But still, nothing of interest to say. Seriously, people. Stop poking me. If you were poking me in the real world, I would have kicked you in the teeth by now.

 

That is all.