You will be glad to know, internet, that no one was killed over the weekend by the hands of yours truly. Also, you will be proud that I did not, inspect anyone’s home for death-proof (except by fire) vermin. (Go, me!) The urge was there, believe me, but I felt that it would be in my best interest to refrain from committing illegal acts and make myself feel better by talking about the whole incident to people who hate the person who caused said incident. It worked rather well, although, I imagine that committing illegal acts might have been more satisfying. Either way, no one is dead, no one is in jail and I drank the Diet Coke very angrily. That’s all I have to say about it.
Aside from the waves of intense fury that crept up every once in a while, I had a pretty decent weekend. Tony, Thing Two and I spent Friday playing Just Dance 2 (O.M.G., you guys have NO IDEA how hilarious it is to watch my very tall, very uncoordinated boyfriend try to dance to Britney Spears is…Seriously. Everyone should see it.) and eating (read: attempting to eat) the delicious (read: INSANELY salty) shrimp stir-fry that Thing Two made for dinner (read: to cause us all to have strokes). He’s precious, that guy. Next time though, no matter how nice I think it is that he wants to cook dinner so that I don’t have to, I will not leave him unattended. He clearly needs supervision.
Saturday, Tony, Thing Two and I headed out to Clifftopher’s house for a party in celebration of…Ummm…Saturday? There were about 7 dudes in a room watching football and looking…well…stoned…and the rest of us hovered very near the pulled pork and Captain Morgan. You know…so we could make sure that they didn’t get away (read: so we could eat and drink massive amounts of deliciousness and no one would ever know). As always, there was a fair amount of falling down involved (not by me this time, this time, internet, I played the spectator instead!) but only a small amount of blood. (Go, team US!) I did meet a really cool girl who introduced herself to me as “Ollie-Ollie-Oxenfreeeeeee!” and believe I may have actually sang some Disney songs with her (I know…I hate Disney. But this is what happens when you are drinking Absolut Peach. And by the way, BLEH.) and later was informed that she is actually Ali Youngblood from Black Kids. Go figure! Naturally, on the way home I had to play a song or two for Thing Two and Tony since they had never heard of them. (Check them out, ya’ll!)
Yesterday was Sunday Fun Day with Uncle Dork (as I like to call him). We had a delicious brunch at an Irish Pub in the ‘hood and then went bowling for what seemed like an eternity. Tony didn’t bowl, but he sat down at the table and watched us shouting things like, “YOU SUCK!” and “DO YOU NEED ME TO TEACH YOU HOW TO BOWL?!” Which, you know, are great motivators. If nothing else, I was motivated to throw my shiny green ball, right at his huge, bald noggin. (I, again, resisted. In your FACE, Quentin Tarantino!) After the bowling extravaganza, we went back to my house to open my birthday presents from my uncle (read: Drink Chimay and Southern Tier Imperial Stout Crème Brulee Beer, which is totally DIVINE), watch the boys play the Wii (read: Shoot fake zombies and get all testosteroney) and cook dinner (read: drink wine). Again, dancing ensued and I kicked everyone’s arse at Rockafeller Skank choreography. And that was all anyone could handle.
I am too old for Sunday Fun Day. I need a nap.