I found this post today while trying to clear out the crap from my email Inbox. (Let me tell you, internet, I have been laughing for the last hour and I am not even a fourth of the way finished with this little gem of a project.) I found this post that I wrote when I was dating TK. You remember TK, right, internet? The 4 ½ year old I dated a few years back? Yeah. That guy.
Anyway, I guess I have been a little jaded for a long time, but it is funny how much has changed…Enjoy!
"I hate how jaded you can be sometimes."
When TK said this it made me think. Not because it had never occurred to me that I might be a bit jaded, because I am well aware of that fact, but because I have a hard time remembering what it was like not being jaded. And I can't help it, really. This is sort of just the way that I am. I am under the assumption that most chicks have that thing in the back of their brains that (even if they refuse to admit it to themselves) makes them dream up that mushy fairy tale relationship where the guy is all charming and perfectly handsome and she is all having 30 orgasms every day and wearing nothing but fancy and raising little perfectly behaved children. That irritates me. Because it will never happen to you, ladies. You will marry a man with mediocre looks and an even more mediocre bank account and you will have mediocre children and a (probably less than) mediocre sex life. You will probably argue about why you can't buy a stupid Prada bag and his inability to fathom the use for a coaster. It's true. Because that's real life, ya'll, and I am not so sure that there is much difference between being jaded and being completely realistic.
I mean, if refusing to have unrealistic expectations of a person or a relationship means that I am jaded, then sue me. But my fairy tale is very different than those "other chicks". For one, the whole marriage and kids thing? Not really at the top of my list. I mean, yeah, I want to meet someone that I love enough to want to do those things with, but I don't really consider them necessary (don't even get me started on weddings, I think we all know where I stand on those from previous posts). I get the whole idea behind getting married. I do. I just don't know why it is important. Unless, like, one of you needs insurance. Or, like, you are in Vegas and you are at a drive thru wedding chappel and Elvis wants his forty bucks. Because then, at least, there is a good degree of novelty involved.
Secondly, I don't hold on to the ridiculous idea that I am going to find, like, the identical, rich, brilliant, twin brother of Taye Diggs. (I wouldn't argue if I did, but let's face it, internet, if there was one of those out there, he would be gay and he would be my best friend and I would stick my head in the oven.) Honestly, wouldn't that get boring?