Happy Obama Day!

And the river opens for the righteous [5x]
Someday

I was walking with my brother
And he wondered what's on my mind
I said what I believe in my soul
Ain't what I see with my eyes
And we can't turn our backs this time

I am a patriot
And I love my county
Because my country is all I know
I want to be with my family
The people who understand me
I've got nowhere else to go

And the river opens for the righteous
And the river opens for the righteous
And the river opens for the righteous
Someday

And I was talking with my sister
She looked so fine
I said, "Baby, what's on your mind?"
She said, "I want to run like the lion
Released from the cages
Released from the rages
Burning in my heart tonight"

And I ain't no communist
And I ain't no capitalist
And I ain't no socialist
And I ain't no imperialist
And I ain't no democrat
And I ain't no republican
I only know one party
And it is freedom

I am, I am, I am
I am a patriot
And I love my country
Because my county is all I know

And the river opens for the righteous
And the river opens for the righteous
And the river opens for the righteous
Someday

And the river opens for the righteous...

I Gotta Wear Shades

"You got the SUN in your VAGINA!"

(One of the funniest, greatest, most awesomest things anyone has ever said to me!)

Try and figure out how THIS conversation happened. I dare you.

because I hate her...

"Stupid Laura Dern: sausage wallet, banana horse!"

No, I sure did not...

"Did you know that they have anal jewelry?"

Ya Heard?!

Those of you who knew me in high school or spend any amount of time with me now know that I keep a quote book. A book of things that I overhear that...well...are ridiculous. This past weekend, I should have had a pen and paper in hand the whole time, but here are a few highlights of the new additions to "The Book".

"Of course she has a big penis! She is a huge black man!"

"If I were a cat, I would totally do you."

And the personals ad..."I like popcorn horses and long walks on the beach..."

Thanks...D

"If its between chemotherapy, prednisone therapy or worms, I am totally taking worms."

Thing Two in Da Hizzy, yo!

Well, yesterday was my last day in hell. I spent it training the poor girl who plans to take my position. She won't be able to transfer for another month, so I don't really know what the point was, but whatever. It is over now. I tried to pretend that I was sad to go and did even get a little choked up when I went out to say good bye to office boy and M, but it didn't last long. I drove home smiling and telling JGJ all about it. It was fantastic.

Today, I drove the whopping 7 minutes to my new job and talked to my new, awesome, not at all bitchy supervisor for an hour, read a magazine until my trainer and the other trainees came in, and then went over some manuals. It was pretty boring but the training was pretty minimal. In fact, this afternoon, I actually got started. I was told it will be three months at the most before I can work from home but I don't care. The office is laid-back and easy to handle and QUIET...and I don't even have a fucking phone on my desk...(Thank you, CHEESUS!)

The only thing that kind of sucked was that I didn't get to do my normal morning blog surfing or checking of the myspace so I had to wait until I got home to get this:


So hows the first day of wearing pajama's allday? Congrats to your last day of hell and hatred. I wrote you a little ryhme to celebrate. It goes a little something like this.
No more going to the office in the morning.
Instead you stay in bed late, still snoring.
No more going in the rain when its pouring.
You'll be at home playing video games scoring.
Now you don't have to put up with any body's shit,
Because obviously you weren't too legit to quit.
No more deodarant to cover up your smelly pit,
because you work at home and you can smell like shit.
Just take this little advice,
do your work, and roll up your sleaves like miami vice,
I know this ryhme is chessier than chessus christ,
but my jingle has to pop like crispy rice.
So again congrats on your new job,
Just because you dont have to go to work,
doesn't mean you have to look like a slob.

Peace ass word to the down under mother fuckers that be rockin my shit....... Biatch! Jay-Osh
Once you go josh the competition is squashed!

Yet another poem! I have inspired TWO...count 'em...TWO poems this month! YES! Thanks, Thing Two! (I corrected some of the grammatical errors because...well...it is what I do...and now I get PAID to do it, bitches! Woot!)

Quote of the Weekend

"Like, I would throw a bucket of water on her if she were on fire, but if it were really gasoline, I wouldn't be too upset."

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
Any fool can do it, there ain't nothing to it.
Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill.
But since we're on our way down, we might as well enjoy the ride.
-James Taylor "Secret O' Life"