I suppose that there is an upside to all of this. I suppose that somewhere, there is a reason that this happened to him. I am not sure what it is. But maybe I am not supposed to. I just feel bad for them. Them, the family. I don’t know how this must feel. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my sister. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mother or my father. I know that it is hard. I lost my grandmother two years ago and my life still isn’t right. This is different for me. He was different. I guess everyone has a different hold on you. I guess that everyone you know and love, affects a different part of you. It seems to me, that the more people that go away, the smaller I become. The harder it is for me to want to care about people. The more hopeless it all seems.
Tonight: the eulogy.
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