Evidently, I should have my own sitcom. I know, I know…When “Seinfeld” went off the air, they asked me but it would have gotten in the way of all the high school parties I was going to and all the speed I was doing. I wouldn’t have time to do a show about nothing. Besides, I am way funnier than Jerry Seinfeld. By now, no one would remember his name.
I have never found John Leguizamo attractive until last night from 10pm-11pm when he was a doctor. Now I love him. I love you, Dr. Clemente…
Evidently, Mario Lopez is going to be in town for some reason. And really, I don’t know what the hell he is doing these days that would cause people to actually care that he is going to be here. I know that I see him on TV occasionally, and that at that point, I usually change the channel and then struggle to get the “Saved by the Bell” theme song out of my head…(Don’t act like you don’t know the words…Don’t act like you don’t remember when Jessie took too many diet pills and almost killed herself…Don’t front.)
I am getting a headache and I am confusing the hell out of the front desk with my inability to make a real sentence. It’s very sad, actually. I try to say things and they come out backwards, or like…upside down. (You may not think that this is possible when speaking, but you would be wrong…) Vocal Fucking Dyslexia.
*note* In no way do I think that I am funnier than Jerry Seinfeld...but Margaret Cho is...
1 comment:
You could've done something better than Seinfeld.
But then, almost anything is funnier than Seinfeld.
Hell, I laughmore during a single episode of O'reilly Factor than I ever did in all the eps I ever saw of Seinfeld.
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