Same Old, Same Old...

I am back at work.

And I wish that I didn’t have anything to bitch about but there is always something when you come back from having a week off. Fortunately for me, I work with some fantastic ladies who have kept on top of everything for me so that I didn’t have to come back to a gigantic stack of paperwork and insanity. I did, however, come back to a mess. And I know why.

I just want to say to you, oh annoying one, I have an IN BOX, stop putting shit all over my desk. And if you need me and I am on vacation, send me an email, asshole, don’t leave me a goddamned post-it on my planner (which you have rifled through my belongings to find so that you could lay on top of everything else that has stacked up). I know who you are with your nasal voice and your annoying, hall-monitor attitude, and just because you DIDN’T send an email like normal people, and you were digging through my things, I will not call you back. Because I hate you. Your voice makes my skin crawl. I said good day!

That said…

I should mention that there is only ONE person in my office that I don’t like…and it seems that this person is CONSTANTLY needing to speak with me. Always urgently. Always for some reason which really doesn’t require my involvement. We shouldn’t have any contact at all…but…she just can’t leave me alone. Its like how cats love people who hate cats. Nasal lady loves me because I hate nasal lady.

A few hours later…

I am fine now…I just bought gummy bears. Gummy bears may have saved someone’s life today.

Office Guy has been backing off lately. Which is nice, because Lab Boy has been too…It has been nice and quiet. Until today, because on top of everything else, they both sent me emails today. Currently, Office Guy is telling me how disinterested I seem to be in talking to him. I want to tell him that that isn’t really the case, because I am generally not disinterested in ANY conversation unless it is with an idiot. And even sometimes those are entertaining. I just am not interested in DATING him. He seems like a nice guy but he also seems a little strange.

He is still fishing to see what my opinions are on him. Trying to be sly. Which irritates the bejesus out of me…

“You just seem disinterested in having a conversation with me.”

“Gee, you sure read a lot into the two seconds a day that I see you.”

“Well, if I’m wrong, please let me know!”

“Well, you don’t seem like a serial killer, so I suppose you are an okay guy from what I can tell.”

I hope that saying that he doesn’t seem like a serial killer doesn’t imply that I want to go out with him. Damn.

A few seconds later…

And there it is. He thinks I meant that I want to go out with him. You know…I really try to say things in the most impersonal way possible without anyone ending up feeling rejected and it always turns out like this. Shit.