I Quit Thursday

Seriously, I am tempted to go back and read all of my previous posts to see if I have ever had a good day on a Thursday because I know how LAST Thursday was.

I almost set myself on fire this morning while trying to answer a phone call from Pookie, smoke a cigarette, and drive to work at the same time (my ear piece has evidently decided to retire). This resulted in my having to pull over and perform a surgical procedure to get the goddamn lit cigarette out from its serious stuckness inside the track of my seat. That’s right. It couldn’t just fall on the floor. It had to fall into a place that my tiny carnie fingers don’t even fit into. Yes, even MY CARNIE FINGERS don’t fit. So I had to break out the big guns. The instruments. The stratosphere pen. It took a while, but after about five minutes of squatting next to my car with the driver’s side door open, I was able to get the cigarette out, throw it on the ground and curse it out loud in front of all of my neighbors passing by on their way to work.

When I finally got to actually speak with Pookie (who was ALSO freaking out…which had nothing to do with cigarettes or an iron, but something far more serious…but I will get to that in a minute), I realized that I most likely had left the iron on. Again. Yes, I know, I need one of the ones that turn off by themselves. But I am not even sure that I own the iron. It could belong to anyone. I just acquire things. Don’t ask me. And don’t blame me for buying the kind that doesn’t have automatic shut off. Blame…Someone who bought it. Anyway, I had a “Eureeka! I might have just burned my apartment down!” moment. Because I wasn’t completely freaked out about having almost been on fire myself. I needed another reason to almost cry. (Pray for my little Ernge…who might be blackened by the time I can go home.)

When I got to work, I was already too irritated with the morning’s events and the presence of my cramps to acknowledge my coworkers. I sat. I ignored people. I scowled. I did so in such a manner that said, “Seriously, fuckers. If you know me at all, you know that this is my very-serious-about-not-talking-to-you face. Beware.” Fortunately, there weren’t many insane people calling me. Oh wait. Yes there were. In fact, no one who isn’t insane has called me yet.

It is very safe to say that today has been worse for others. Like Pookie, whose car was stolen this morning. Gotta love that. Nothing like waking up in the morning and carrying the kids out to the…ummm…”where the fuck’s my car?” And I am positive that, had I been in her position, it would have gone the same way. I would have gone outside where the car should be. Not see said car. Go back inside and decide to try again. Back outside. Still no car. Proceed to freak the fuck out. That’s about how her morning went. So yeah, she wins for worse day.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t be cranky too.

The verdict is, today is a shitty day. And I think I speak for several people when I say this: I quit Thursday.

Stuck-in-my-head Song of the Day: That damn song about the Daves. (Thanks, JGJ, I can't make it stop!)