6.05.2006

I got my first gay porn!

So Drag Show Saturday went perfectly. We got to the club kind of early so we sat in the piano room and had a few drinks beforehand and I made fun of MP’s lack of driving skills. (She once pulled into a parking space, got out of the car and closed her door without putting the car in park. Leaving me screaming and wondering why in hell the car was rolling away as I tried to get out of it.) She told me about people we graduated with who have finally come out. Some of these people should have done it years ago, because really, did they think there was any question?

Anyway, we watched the dance competition, which is always pretty amusing and always features a wide array of…well…talent. The contest is always a pretty high point in the night, because like anywhere there is dancing, there is always a white guy with no rhythm and some sort of prop that he will use to draw attention away from his sheer inability to actually dance. This time he took of his belt. Then he swung it around and almost whipped “the oldest living drag queen” in the face…and then he fell to the ground and made some sort of humping the floor type of movement. And that’s when I could no longer watch. Oh, white boy…shame on you.

The best part was when he actually won the contest. And that he beat out the beautiful gay Carlos. Who may have been sculpted by hand and danced like he used to be on “Fame”. If I could just have been a gay man for one night…no…wait…I don’t really know that I want that…

I did manage to meet a porn star, get an autographed copy of one of his…works, meet a fabulous new friend (who made my whole year by freaking out so much when I told him that I was 26…I love you, cute little boy who is obviously very bad with guessing age!), speak with a girl who has never voluntarily spoken to me in the fifteen years we have known each other, and swipe 18 condoms from the bathroom.

It was an eventful evening. And I finally admitted that I am in love with a drag queen. It is so unfair that MEN dressed as WOMEN can be so much more attractive than most women I see. And I am confused and kind of…irritated…and fascinated by the whole thing. MP and I are totally gonna be drag queens. We will join in the parade, we will lip sync to “Barbie girl” and wear huge wigs and fight pink eye. And we won’t have to pay for boobs, because we already have them. (Hooray for boobs!) And we like boys, so we will fit in just fine…

I think I would make a pretty hot drag queen.

2 comments:

themachineghost said...

STILL the gayest man I know.

spaceface said...

I love you for calling me the gayest man you know! That's still one of the best compliments EVER...oh, aside from the one yesterday which I can't decipher...
You tell me, is this a compliment?

I was wearing patchouli.

"You are far too cute to smell so bad."

Thanks???