Righty and the Entire Spine

My stupid back is at it again.

In addition to, or because of, the injury to my back, I have developed a bit of sciatica on my left side. Sciatica is fun. When it acts up, I picture a lightening rod shooting from the middle of my left ass cheek, down my leg and stopping at about my knee. That should give you some idea of what it feels like. So, Wednesday, instead of the pain being on the left side, like always, it decided to migrate to the right side. Which is usually the side that I treat like a step-child while favoring the left. Evidently, Righty had had enough. It wasn’t so bad, just a dull aching in the hip and every once in a while a sharp, shooting pain.

So, sometime during the battle with the CD collection, I seem to have really angered Righty, and the Entire Spine (why does that sound like it should be band name to me?) and I woke up yesterday morning with knots all over. And when I say knots…well…I mean…big fucking rocks under my skin. So, I called in sick. I took a muscle relaxant (the ONLY one I had left in the hidden stash) and went back to sleep until 10:30. Luckily for me, Dr. Dork was kind enough to work me in on very short notice and he gave me a little acupuncture, wrote me a note (who knew that once I get FMLA, THEN I will need a doctor’s note?!), and ordered someone from Occupational Therapy to come and evaluate my workstation. Hooray.

Anyway, I took that old prescription that I had for painkillers (the one that I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to fill) and got it filled. I have taken 4 in less than 24 hours. I am feeling groggy and sleepy and I really wish that I was in bed. Or on the beach. Or…I dunno…somewhere equally as lazy and warm. Because I am sitting in a shitty chair in my shitty office that feels like a morgue. And I can barely make sentences because it takes too much energy to speak and keeping my eyes open is becoming harder and harder.

One of the docs just offered to get me some special neckbrace to avoid a head injury when I finally do fall out of my chair.

Damn. Is it five yet?

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