Celebrating Wednesday

I am still insanely tired but have managed, despite it, to stay at work. And have even being moderately coherent for the majority of the time.

I have been maintaining a level of consciousness that surprises even me, but now, as I try to wean myself off of the coffee, it is all starting to slip away.

Luckily for me, it is almost two. That means in less than four hours, I will (hopefully) be tucked into my bed and dreaming. I am too tired to consider any alternatives.

ZH is still working things out at work where he will be able to visit me when I am in Vegas (16 days!) and I am excited that I might actually get to see him. We have a lot to talk about and some things are hard to discuss over the phone. Either way though, Ricky and Fish Head will be there, along with the family, so it will be a good time, I’m sure.

I have to secure a place to live though, in the next two weeks, which is seriously stressing me out because of LBG’s inability to let the past lie and the lack of other options that I currently have. It is beginning to look more and more like I should just make my big move sooner than I had planned. I had planned to stay at least until June, since I had promised my supervisor and physicians that I work for that I would, but now I just think it would be easier just to get the hell out while I can. I can’t say that I wouldn’t do it. But I also can’t say that I am completely ready just yet. Really though, more and more, the only thing that I cannot take with me is the ocean. Friendships will follow. Family will continue to be family. And the ocean isn’t going anywhere. (even though I wish I could put it in my pocket and take it with me).

Ideally though, I would be in the SAME apartment until June and then wouldn’t have to worry about anything until then. But, being that My roommate…well…isn’t one, it puts a little damper on my plans. I guess that is why I am taking so long to figure it out. I have found a lot of places that I can afford…but I just don’t have the energy to do it now and then again if and when I do it in June. I get increasingly bitter about not having gotten a place by myself when Spliff left, but the helping hand in me took over…getting me, well…absolutely nowhere and a little bit more irritated with people than I had been to start. If that is possible.

Of course, moving out of Jacksonville right now, puts a little damper on my plans with Brandy to buy that house on the beach and write that children’s book, “Owen has Two Mommies”.