Girl-ville

I guess after the dim light of the tiki bar and the sound of the ocean, the time sort of slipped away from me. When LBG and I pulled into my apartment complex blasting John Legend on the stereo, I walked right inside and didn’t even bother looking at the clock. I guess I was probably a little more tipsy than I had intended to get or even realized I had gotten.

I sent a text message to ZH that said nothing but, “Divorce”. I try and keep him posted when there is something preventing me from embracing my possible cross-country move. My phone was ringing before it even left my hand and when I picked it up, I realized that I shouldn’t have. “I will never let you divorce me.”

“Let me?” Clearly, those words don’t go together. And I knew he was kidding. And I knew he was serious. And I knew that I should not speak to someone that I miss so terribly after too many Tuchers. Conversations like this could only lead in one direction. To over-emotional girl-ville, where no one calls anyone “dude” and people actually get choked up about stuff. I hate that place.

I have been described as cold, emotionally unavailable, and all sorts of colorful ways of saying that I basically am a heartless bitch, but I will tell you one thing, last night (even though he never even sensed it) I just felt weak and alone. I guess maybe it is time I joined the land of the living. I just kind of liked it there in the cold, dark depths of emotional unavailability.

Stuck-in-my-head Song of the Day: "Sweet Child O' Mine" - GNR