Crash

Just when you think the universe is on your side.

Today I left work early to get some errands done and possibly slip in a nap somewhere since I, again, have been unable to sleep. So, I finish the errands, make myself into a giant Crystal burrito in my bed, and sleep for two hours. Lovely. When I woke up, I called The Idiot, got in the car and headed out to run more errands which would include, trash bags (that I didn’t have the patience to find at Publix yesterday), cigarettes, gas, and coffee (so that I wouldn’t be tempted to go right back to sleep).

Trash bags…check…
Cigarettes…check…
Gas…check…

For the coffee, I decided to avoid the Starbucks that is located directly across the street from the gas station I was at, and head out to the other end of the beach. Partially because I felt I needed time to get myself in order and motivated for packing, and partially because I hadn’t spoken to The Idiot in a while and figured that, I had time while I was in the car.

So, we chat while I drive, while I get my coffee, while I return to my end of the beach. Somewhere about halfway home, I glance in my rearview mirror and notice that the white van behind me is swerving to avoid another vehicle that is seemingly trying to run him off the road. The white van turned down a side street leaving me directly in the path of the other vehicle.

“Oh my god.” Was all I could get out before he hit me. He slammed right into the back of my car, never slowing. I could see the lights flashing behind him. The earpiece had been knocked from my ear, the coffee was now on my face, hair and clothes, instead of in the cup. The lid was knocked off (and still never retrieved) so when I pulled over and realized what was happening and picked up my phone to dial 9-1-1, it was sticky and The Idiot was still there.

Long story short:
I am fine, but my favorite sweater is not.
Fiona is fine, but her taillight is not.
The Idiot came and stayed with me.
I talked to 87 cops and got to wear a fireman’s coat. (Which weighed 25 pounds).
Evidently, the guy shot someone in NY and stole the car there.
Then he drove it here and hit a Mercedes.
Then the cops tried to pull him over, he tried to get away and hit 3 more cars.
He was life-flighted. And the cops said he wasn’t doing well.
He might not make it, but they hinted that there were “other” injuries.
My back hurts but I am going to go to my doctor tomorrow.

I learned:
Police reports blow.
The Beach cops are NOT assholes.
Firemen have heavy coats.
If you are involved in a vehiclular homicide, they impound your vehicle, even if you didn’t do it.
Starbucks is evil. And not cool to have on your face.

I’m out.