Hallelujah zig-zag Nothing

The hospital security people have gone insane. They are now circling the parking lot in the morning with clipboards to make sure employees aren’t parking in the patient parking lots. MY take on this is: If you bastards want me to get dressed up to come and work here, and I end up wearing four inch heels because I am too short NOT to, then you will understand that I don’t want to walk eight miles to my desk and break my effing ankles. I will park my happy ass in patient parking. I will not take the closest spot, because I do realize that these people are old and sick and crazy, but I will park a safe enough distance from the building to prevent ankle breakage. Thank you. This has been a public service announcement.

Lucky for everyone, the little security lady who asked me to move my car reminded me of the lady on “Police Academy” with the really squeaky voice, so really, I just started laughing and turned right around. I can’t handle that much comedy before I have had coffee.

In other news, The Grateful Dad left on Monday to fly back to Guam where his wife will be anxiously waiting for him. She evidently has quite a bit of yelling to do. She wasn’t thrilled at the idea of him helping my mom cook for my sister’s graduation. Yes, that’s right. Evidently, my adorable Chinese step-mother is not as adorable as we had originally thought. Evidently, she had a little freak-out because my FATHER and my MOTHER (who have been divorced for 17 years and can barely stand the sight of each other) were COOKING FOOD for THEIR DAUGHTER. Wow. My words to my father: “Look, I know my mom is a bitch, but don’t make me hate my stepmom by telling me this.”

Conversation = over.

God dammit. I have meetings all day. I have to stop blogging. I don’t have time for blogging. I am grounded.


soopadoopachaloopa said...

why can't i keep my hands out of your brain?

spliffany said...

thing-a-ma-jigsaw puzzle

shirley said...

Oh yeah, I should totally tell you, Chinese chicks are psycho!! Except for me ofcourse. I'm just a drunkard.