The Haps

For those of you who may have been wondering what has happened to me:

No, I wasn’t abducted by aliens (I couldn’t handle that again) or Taye Diggs (I keep praying but it gets me nowhere). As I mentioned before, I got a new job, quit smoking and went on a diet. It was a lot to do all within the same week but it had to be done.

The diet went well for two weeks. I lost eleven pounds and then took “gradually work in the healthy foods that you can handle, back into your diet” to mean, “you might as well inhale the entire contents of a fast food restaurant, you cow.” Shockingly, even with the diversion from the track, I have kept the weight off and am starting the diet again on Tuesday. (I can’t give up beer and pizza for Memorial Day weekend. That would be blasphemy.)

The not smoking thing works when I am at work or at home and around non-smokers. Surprisingly, I have yet to chop someone’s head off in a nicotine withdrawal fit. I don’t really even mind not smoking except when I am playing pool or drinking beer. (I know, this is a lot of the time, but when I am on the diet, I can’t drink beer anyway! SEE! Makes perfect sense.)

This brings us to the employment situation. I want to start out by saying that I had to quit the nursing home to take this job and I was not happy about that but I couldn’t work 7 days a week and it just wasn’t cutting it only working two. I looked for another part-time job that would balance me out and still give me some weekdays off (I like having week days off because I don’t like kids and I like doing regular people things when kids are in school so that I am not tempted to beat them.) but it wasn’t a possibility. I couldn’t find a damn thing that would suit me. In the end, I put in my notice at the nursing home and cried my face off my whole drive home and then started the new job the next day. My new job is a little like being in the CIA because I can’t tell anyone where my office is located. The company deals with sensitive issues and lots of confidential medical files and we have a lot of crazy clients, so we have to keep a lot of things secret.

Anyway, if my office window were one floor higher, I could see the ocean. (Yeah, I am cool now, I have an office, not a box!) I can walk to the beach on my lunch break, and the hours are really flexible. But the best part? Right now, I am wearing a t-shirt with skulls on it, jeans and flip-flops! Jealous?

The pay isn’t that great but honestly, the money I will save in gas alone is worth it. Not to mention how much I will save now that I don’t have to buy a bunch of preppy clothes I don’t like. I don’t understand why more companies don’t encourage this sort of behavior!

So, that is the update on everything that is anything in my life. It has been a little weird adjusting to Spliff being home all day and then ME being the one who has to get up and go to work. I can’t say that that is my favorite part of all of this. But I am lucky to have found this job and am so relieved that…I AM WEARING FLIP-FLOPS, YA’LL!

Peace out.