Diseased Fish

So, since the sister (Fish Head) was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, I have been checking out websites that offer information and suggestions for people who have to make the switch from Gluton-fabulous to Gluten-Free...This, in my opinion, does not seem like fun. And I pity the Fish. Really. And as it turns out, I might also have it, but am too much of a chicken shit to get tested. So, for now, I am taking notes. Here. Because I care about this. And you will too, dammit.

So...first and foremost:

You cannot have beer if you are diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Did you HEAR ME?! YOU CAN'T HAVE BEER! What kind of a life is a life without beer?! Well...I found beer. I don't know if you can get it anywhere yet, because I haven't done research. BUT, there is HOPE. (Don't worry Fish Head...I am looking out.) And here's another.

I also learned that the food is super expensive and mostly tastes like cardboard. Really crumbly cardboard. Which, honestly, makes me very sad. But also, pisses me off...because why should you have to pay 25 bucks for a frozen pizza made of cardboard. (True story. As many of you know, my cousin, who is adopted from Russia also has Celiac Disease and my Aunt actually bought a frozen pizza for $25) So, it was good to find out that you can actually get special tax deductions for being a diagnosed Celiac (that sounds like a sort of alien, no?) and I think that is great news! Go me!

But it looks like real pizza may soon be an option too, FH! LOOKIE! I mean, we're a long way away...but isn't it good to know that some day you won't have to eat bad crackers when you really just want PIZZA?! Yes, yes, I knew you'd like it.

I've been reading a lot about gluten-free diets and the crazy symptoms and I've found that while, yes, this disease effing sucks, scientists seem to be making breakthroughs all the time. So...maybe...by the time I get tested (possibly tomorrow, if I grow the balls to a)let someone stick a needle in my arm and b) face the possibility of giving up beer), they will have developed a cure...or they will have made everything...and I mean EVERYTHING gluten free...and it won't taste like cardboard.

Go, scientists, GO!

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