Me: I am totally gonna start walking like that...Cause I want to be a skinny black man.
Spliff: I want you to be a skinny black man too. But also...I need to start walking like that too...
Me: I would be a skinny, black, gay man.
Spliff: Me too!
Me: I always knew we would be the perfect couple.
Spliff: But I would only like you if you had dreads.
Me: Well, duh...Clearly, with this much hair, I would have no other choice.